Advice from New Zealand's Catholic bishops urging voters not to support parties who approve of same-sex parenting is seen as "odd and surprising" by an Auckland lesbian couple who say the most important thing about parenting is providing unconditional love, regardless of the gender of their caregivers.
A statement issued this week to guide Catholics in the upcoming general election says children need the attention of both a mother and father, because "each contributes differently to their development", and suggests voters identify which "political views on same-sex couples conflict with this wisdom".
Auckland couple Liz and Di Harding have been together 18 years and are the proud parents of 11-year-old boy-girl twins. Liz, a GP, believes current evidence clearly shows no difference in the outcome of children raised by same-sex as opposed to heterosexual parents – "so I am surprised by the Bishops' announcement," she tells GayNZ.com.
"Maybe the Catholic Church are basing this statement on studies other than those found in mainstream research.It seems to me that they have some odd ideas from time to time anyway, such as not using condoms or birth control. I don't take much notice of such statements, nor do many people I know."
Just like many other couples, having children as an integral part oftheir family seemed completely natural to Di and Liz. Di, a teachers aide, says having childrenhave enriched the couple's lives enormously "and bring us great joy as well as all the stresses that kids bring."
Responding to the Catholic Church's claim of important differences between male and female parenting, Di agrees that the two genders love children differently, but two women together also provide different outlooks on parenting.
"Bringing up children is a united effort," she explains. "You have to agree on the basic principles of child rearing and maintaina consistent approach. Children need boundaries as much as love and they need to know that you are there for them."
Liz has also found that consistency and reliability are major factors in parenting. "It is important that the children know that they are loved, that you will always be there for them, but also that there are boundaries and expectations of appropriate and acceptable behaviour with consequences if those expectations are not met," she explains.
"Give lots of appropriate praise. They require a sense of belonging to a family unit who loves, listens to and treasures them. To be good role models for your children - live as you want them to be. It is important for all parents to have similar general goals and expectations for the children, and consistency with rules and consequences."
Di and Liz agree that the most important thing for kids is unconditional love – and making sure the children know it.
