Letter to the editor of GayNZ
RE: GayNZ Blog āLove, Trust, Marriage and HIVā
I read Michael Stevensā blog āLove, Trust Marriage and HIVā with interest. He poses some challenging questions and with marriage equality hopefully just around the corner, love, trust and HIV are timely topics. But I disagree with many of his conclusions and I think some vital facts are not mentioned.
Absolutely gay men can love and commit to their husbands. But it is naĆÆve to think that any kind of relationship comes with a guarantee that the couple will stay fully faithful. Sex outside the relationship can happen either by agreement or accident. Another interesting point to consider is that people are creatures of habit. There is plenty of evidence to say that people get used to either using or not using condoms. We know that if a person does not use condoms in a relationship they are less likely to use condoms outside the relationship.
It can be said that condoms in a relationship actually add to trust and commitment; a relationship is a negotiation of lives based on the bond of love. In the face of an on-going HIV epidemic for gay men, negotiating the inclusion of condoms shows a level of commitment and responsibility that a couple can have towards each other.
There is no oppression of gay men in the biological facts of HIV risk in anal sex ā there are only the facts. There is no homophobia in the use of condoms ā itās simply the most effective way to keep you, your partner and the community safe from HIV.
General Manager Operations NZAF
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