Gay Sayings and Slang
Gay slang has been the heartbeat of LGBTQ+ communities worldwide.
... and New Zealand is no exception. From coded survival language to celebratory expressions of identity, these terms carry cultural weight and community connection. Here's your essential guide to the sayings that matter.
The Classics
Spilling the tea - Sharing gossip or revealing juicy information. "Girl, let me spill the tea about what happened at Big Gay Out."
Throwing shade - Making a subtle insult or showing disdain. Perfected by drag queens and adopted by everyone else.
Fierce - Incredible, impressive, or showing confidence. Your outfit, your attitude, your entire existence can be fierce.
Werk/Work it - Praise for someone doing their thing brilliantly. Whether it's on the dance floor or in life generally.
Slay - To do something exceptionally well. "You absolutely slayed that performance at Caluzzi."
Serving looks - Looking absolutely incredible. When your outfit is so good it deserves recognition.
Living for it - Absolutely loving something. "I'm living for this new Benee track."
Modern Essentials
Periodt - End of discussion, full stop. Adding emphasis like a linguistic mic drop.
No cap - No lies, I'm being truthful. "That was the best kai I've ever had, no cap."
It's giving... - It has the energy or vibe of something. "This weather is giving main character energy."
Snatched - Perfect, flawless, particularly about appearance. "Your makeup is absolutely snatched."
Slaps - Something that's really good, usually music. "This new track absolutely slaps."
That's on periodt - Agreeing emphatically with a statement.
Supportive
Queen/King - Terms of endearment and empowerment for anyone, regardless of gender identity.
Bestie - Close friend, but also used casually with acquaintances in LGBTQ+ spaces.
Go off - Encouragement to express yourself fully or continue with enthusiasm.
We love to see it - Expressing approval or celebration of someone's success.
Good for her/him/them - Celebrating someone's achievements or choices.
Icon/Iconic - Someone or something worthy of admiration and respect.
The Drama
Extra - Over the top, dramatic, but often in an endearing way. "You're being extra, but I love it."
A moment - When something or someone is having their time to shine.
Unbothered - Completely unfazed, confident, serene. The energy we all aspire to.
The audacity - When someone has done something shocking or bold.
Main character energy - Living life like you're the protagonist of your own story.
Big dick energy - Confidence without arrogance, regardless of actual anatomy.
New Zealand Additions
Chur queen - Kiwi casual meets gay affection. Our local twist on international gay speak.
Sweet as, bestie - Agreeing enthusiastically with your mate.
She'll be right, hun - Reassurance with a distinctly Kiwi gay twist.
Community Builders
Found family - The chosen family within LGBTQ+ communities, particularly important in New Zealand's close-knit scene.
Safe space - Environments where LGBTQ+ people can be authentic without fear.
Ally - Non-LGBTQ+ people who actively support the community.
Visibility - Being openly LGBTQ+ and proud, especially important in smaller New Zealand communities.
Why This Matters
This isn't just trendy vocabulary, it's cultural DNA. These expressions create instant connection, signal belonging, and celebrate identity. They've evolved from survival tools to celebration language, carrying decades of community history in every syllable.
In New Zealand's LGBTQ+ scene, from Auckland's pride events to Christchurch's community gatherings, these terms build bridges. They acknowledge shared experiences whilst welcoming newcomers into the fold.
Whether you're part of the rainbow community or an ally, understanding this language means understanding a rich cultural tradition. It's communication, celebration, and community rolled into expressions that are, quite frankly, iconic.
So next time someone tells you you're serving looks or that your energy is absolutely snatched, know you're participating in something bigger than just slang. You're part of a linguistic legacy that's as vibrant and resilient as the community that created it.