How to ask someone out

How to ask someone out
Photo by Nicholas Swatz from Pexels

If you are anything like me, 2020 has been a year of personal growth and escaping my comfort zone: From maintaining a social life to juggling responsibilities at work, I haven't had much downtime for myself. However, I can safely say that 2020, through its ups and downs, has been productive for my romantic life.

And let's face it: When a person comes home from a long day at work or class, the last thing they want to do is spend time alone. Instead, we would rather get greeted by someone we're close to that we can cuddle up with and de-stress. If finding love is on your 'to-do' list, here are some helpful tips to get you started.

New Changes To the Dating Scene

If you have neglected popular dating apps, such as Grindr, Bumble, Lex and Tinder, in the last couple of years, you will be shocked to know that video-call technology has become the new normal.

In the past, we had to take people at their word and trust that their profile pictures were updated and accurate. Be honest with yourself for a moment: Have you ever been 'catfished'? If so, don't feel embarrassed! I've been there myself and lived to tell the tale.

Now all you have to do is request a face-to-face video call to ensure you're talking to a real-life person. Not only does this allow you to connect with people more intimately, but it also acts as a safety mechanism that protects against fraud and deception!

How To Ask Someone Out

While Disney movies and romantic comedies have convinced us the best way to show our love is through a grand gesture, the opposite is closer to reality.

Before getting to the point where you proposition your crush to spend time with you, make sure you get to know them on a deep level. Don't be the person that sends a message to the first guy they think is cute and exposes their soul to them.

Instead, take things slow and listen to what they have to say as opposed to waiting for your turn to speak. Not only does this help you bond with the person, but it can also give you pertinent clues on how to spend your first face-to-face meeting with one another.

The key to asking someone out is doing it in a way that says, "I like you," but also says, "you're allowed to decline me." No one wants to be in an uncomfortable situation where they have to do something they don't want to.

Instead, I encourage you to be nonchalant and almost a bit aloof in your behavior. Be casual, cool and collected when you ask, and don't be afraid of what the response might be. By following this method, the person feels at ease and much more inclined to say 'yes' to your request. Besides, no one wants to go somewhere with a person that was forced to tag along.

First Date Done Right

Now that you've scored yourself a first date, whether that's "Netflix and chill" or going to a physical location, you need to be comfortable, relaxed and optimistic. While each person is different and has certain criteria that are important to them, here's my go-to checklist before I walk out my front door:

  • Showered, trimmed and fresh
  • Brush, floss, tongue scrape and use mouthwash
  • Deodorant and a small bit of fragrance
  • Hair is trimmed, well-kept and contains a small bit of product
  • I'm wearing clothes that are fit for the occasion
  • Always have protection in case things spice up later in the night
  • A friend or family member knows where I am if things go sour

While your routine may differ from mine, this gives you a basic outline of how to present yourself in the best light. After you've completed these steps, all you have to do is act natural and see if your spark unfolds into a beautiful relationship!

Should You Ask Out Your Crush?

With all of the trials and tribulations you've experienced through life's journey, you deserve to find love. Don't be afraid to get to know people and see where that relationship might lead in the weeks and months to come.

However, realize that no one is obligated to experience the same feelings you have. If you like someone and they don't feel you could be anything more than friends, that's OK! The dating life in New Zealand is fun, active and blossoming as we speak. When one door closes, another one opens up. Get out there and play the field, and soon enough, you will stumble into the right person for you!

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