Does My Dick Look Big in This?

April 11, 2012 in General

You know you can buy underwear now that will make your whole package, cock and balls, ¬†look bigger? And undies that will also “shape” your arse to give it that porn-star bubble-butt look.

I always wonder what happens if you meet some guy and then go home and have to take them off and the truth is revealed. Hell, even before then, what if you’re hugging and kissing and groping and he puts his hand down your pants? I know if I met a man wearing them that way I’d feel a mix of amusement and puzzlement.And sorry if he’d be that insecure. ¬†Not exactly sexy.
And while most of us would agree that a big cock or a nicely-rounded butt is fun, they’re pretty irrelevant to the general quality of life.
But we gay men are bombarded with pressure about how we should look. The quest for the perfect six-pack, perfect pecs, big-guns, cum-gutters, goes on. And on and on and on.
And I do understand it – these guys can look very fucking hot. For me the physical side of being gay is about loving and desiring the masculine, so yeah, of course I get it. The expectation seems to be that every gay man must either look this way or desire men who do, or that’s the impression I get when I look at the ads in gay media and on gay fuck-sites (puhleez – they’re not “dating” sites). And that can be an impossible goal for some.
I know guys who have done all the hard hours in the gym, have beautifully defined bodies, but still can’t find a partner to love, and some say they find it hard to even get laid – guys without the same level of physical beauty feel too scared to approach them. But how perfect do you have to be?
I admit, I’m a bad homo in this regard. I have joined gyms at different times, but I just get so fucking bored in them. At 50, I have a gut, hey – I like good food and booze too much – I don’t have a body that any advertiser would use to sell unless it’s a before and after fitness-programme. And I guess we’d only get the before shots done.
For me part of it was school. PE for me was a time of utter humiliation and shame – the PE master was a bastard who seemed to delight in tormenting me and the other boys like me. So I have never really felt that comfortable with my body and with sport in general I guess. And I was able to coast through my 20s without too much to worry about.
I do know other gay men who had the same sort of experiences at school but have found going to gyms as adults really empowering – and I admire them for that – it just doesn’t seem to work that way for me.
Getting the perfect body becomes this thing that we worship and turn into a fetish. It does have an upside of course, it’s good for your health, a lot of guys like the way they think it helps free them from the older “femme” stereotypes of gay men. There’s no doubt it gives a lot of guys a real and valuable boost to their self-image.
I guess the thing is, the paradox of it, is that so many gay men already have real problems with self-esteem, issues with how we look and who and what we are, so if we find we can’t conform to this stereotype that is so relentlessly shoved down our throats, once again we end up with gay men feeling excluded…by other gay men.
It’s often hard enough dealing with the straight world, so feeling like you don’t belong in the gay world too because of your looks is a double-whammy really. And it does seem pretty superficial too, basing your attraction purely on the physical. Superficial, but not of course limited to homo-world. Yeah I do know that.
Who’s in and who’s out? Who has the body, the cock, and who doesn’t? It’s great to look hot, to be ripped, to spend hours in the gym each day if that makes you happy – but it’s only one way of being gay. It’d be nice to think that after all the bullying and social exclusion gay guys typically go through we have learnt not to treat our own that way.
Does My Dick Look Big in This?

16 Comments

    1. BTBH says:

      I am good looking with a hot body, but I have anal warts, do u think someone will desire my butt?

    2. BTBH says:

      ive done weightlifting since i was 14 even before i knew i was gay does this make me a stereotype? and furthermore do you think someone would still want to have sex with me even though i have anal warts?

    3. RWD says:

      Thanks for pointing that out about those “dating” sites. I just moved to NZ about 5 months ago. Why has it been sooooo difficult for me to meet other gay men for friendship? Geezus! Seems like everyone on those sites just wants to get their rocks off. Where should I be looking?

    4. Hamo says:

      I’ve totally make friends from ‘dating’ sites! Although admittedly they’re usually I originally I wanted to hook up with but after a while spent ‘flirting’ and not hooking we ended up friends :)

    5. Annij says:

      Who is this hot hard body anal warts guy? My my, get your mind OUT of your ass. :P

      The only advice I can give you is… (I’m sure you’re not really interested in a middle class female hets advice, but hey I’m gonna throw it out there.) You need to BE the person you want to date. If you want a stable person (with a healthy self esteem) who is not superficial, who can handle a small cock and does not take “obsessive” care of his body; someone you can have a drink with on the back deck and pay the bills with, YOU need to be that person. First, I would stop looking a gay skin mags. Sure they’re fun fantasy and they keep the lonelies at bay, but ultimately they’re just depressing because no one looks like that in”reality”. If he does, he has usually bought into the lie that those mags are “truth”. Take a media course; magazines, publishing companies and porn sites spend millions of dollars a year trying to convince their audience that they sell the truth. When what they really sell is anxiety and fear: if you don’t look like this, you’ll be ALONE, if you don’t act like that you’ll end up ALONE. it’s all bullshite. Don’t spend one more dollar on those sites, or mags, go get your man. :)

      I’ve said enough for one setting.

      AJ

      • BTBH says:

        but what about the warts AJ?

      • BTBH says:

        I dont want a small cock either just an average one and I dont want to take a media course my student loan is big enough as it is. I dont look at those magazines i just have a good body cause I used to be a swimmer in my teens and did alot of strength training because of our coaching regime. And in my 20s I was in the military and allw e did was run and do push ups and sit ups endlessley. Oh and i dont want to have a drink on the deck with someone I havent had a drink in years. But thansk for the help, Do you think u would have even found a man seriously if your vagina was enveloped in seeping warts? would u even have the confidence to pull your panty down in front of a man u just met?

        • BTBH says:

          im kinda getting sick of the overweight unhealthy looking person saying to the healthy weight person that they are fake because they are healthy actually. If someone plays sports or runs or something it doesnt mean that they biuy into some magazine that you are actually fixated on. i never even mention some mag, its always ur type that bring magazines and media up. Its you that is fixated with it AJ

          • BTBH says:

            i care for my body cause i care for myself i brush my teeth and wash my hair. and fitness is well actually just a habbit for me since i was swimming in my teens and was in military in my 20s. So Aj actually go f&*k urself

            • BTBH says:

              basiccly AJ i didnt sit on my ass all day eating crap like you do moaning about the media. I barely even watch TV, u probaley watch shortland street everynight and watch MTV channel and sit there scoffing chocolate and drinking booze with your little dick man complaining about everyone thats going to live longer than you

Does My Dick Look Big in This?

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